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12/18/09

For You I Fell

You are kind and true,
I've fallen hard for you,
Your soothing words,
A comfort to my soul,
Your love is so unique,
You're more valuable than gold,
A glorious treasure in which I hold,
Your my greatest weakness,
My love I cannot withhold,
For I love you far too much,
You're everything and more,
It's all I have for you to take,
And nothing would make me happier,
Than forever being with you,
Because I know my love,
Is a mutual love,
For you truly love me too.

12/11/09

Third song I've written but sadly I don't remember the tune I made up to it :(

Verse One:
You stole a vital piece of me,
That pumps my blood endlessly,
That gives my soul wings to fly,
Your my demise and alibi,
So sweet to the touch on the outside,
But burns my fragile hands,
That slowly weather and dry,
From lack of another's warm hands to hold,
I used to be pure sparkling gold

Chorus:
A tragedy we'll always be,
Of intricate simplicity,
Broken hearts and shattered wings,
A kiss from you reviving me,
From a tattered and torn eternity

Verse Two:
You smolder me with one look,
You offered your heart in which I took,
Am I consuming your heart too?
Just because you are my glue,
To carve your heart like mine was done to me.
No, it's not true, this cannot be

Chorus:
A tragedy we'll always be,
Of intricate simplicity,
Broken hearts and shattered wings,
A kiss from you reviving me,
From a tattered and torn eternity (2x)




Among The Leaves

Second song I've written. It's sarcastically depressing haha. Hope you like it :)

Verse One:
Pick me up from where I lie,
The cold wind blows and the lilies sigh,
A place from home,
My heart it sings,
And darling, you're always here.
Haunting my dreams, And so I must sing...

Chorus:
La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la, la-aah,

La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la-aah


Verse Two:
Fill my heart with things I dream,
Although you tell me we are not to be,
You're holding her,
My head's pounding,
And darling, your presence here,
Still haunts me, And so I must scream...

Chorus:
La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la, la-aah,

La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la-aah


Bridge:
Now I sit here,
Among the leaves,
They weep for me,
I continue to sing....

Chorus:
La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la, la-aah,

La la la, la la la,
La la la, la la la,
La la la la la la,
La la la-aah... (2x)

11/30/09

Rebellious Sinner

I lift my hands up,
They're worn from defeat,
Acts of rebellion,
Are poisoning me,
My blemished hands,
None want to see,
A disgrace to the one,
Who wants to heal me,
I am numb at broken promises,
Disgusted in my weakness,
The dark one's plots are relentless,
They harbor upon my laddened soul,
Of imperfection and sin untold.

A sinner's plea

A wretched creature,
I am, I am,
Bound in my own chains.
By the devil's hands,
My soul he hungers,
To ruin me,
His venomous lies,
Poison my being.

He tempts me with lust,
A promising disguise,
To watch me fall again,
To mock my soul's cries,
Hurling self-worth,
He spits in my face,
Telling me I'm unworthy,
Of infinite grace.

I look down at my hands,
And down to my feet,
Chains I have made,
Shows a spirit of defeat,
Is his grace even big enough,
To save a sinner like me?

I look at his wrists,
And the blood-soaked tree,
My chains fell off,
My soul set free,
His look of pure love,
Seems too good to be.

For such a wretched creature,
Someone like me,
For a wretched creature,
I am, I am.

11/20/09

Marriage

Dysfunctional are we,
As pots of clay,
Imperfect and molded,
By the words of mere men,
That shape our wants and desires from within,
How foolish though is the man that is he,
His destiny chosen by someone's beliefs,
When he is a symphony awaiting to be played,
In perfect harmony,
To make his debut,
Each note sounded out in perfect accord to each word,
He chooses his scenery, his passion, his love,
For she fits him,
Molds to him to complete the piece,
That the one who was molding left out,
A delicate mystery of how he found her,
Her nimble hands as she sewed back,
The buttons upon his favorite tweed jacket,
Or the way her eyes seemed to glisten,
When he smiled to her before leaving the shop,
Her dark, soft hair fitting the picture perfectly,
Engraved upon his mind,
Though years it did take to find the right one,
His finishes his work, his piece,
The job is done,
And the new pot of fine clay,
Is molded with her,
And they become one.

These Warriors

The beat of the old drums echoes in my ears,
Their sound has been remodeled, refashioned,
Into gun fires and explosions,
A cynical melody,
A symphony of unnerving sound,
The play their tune upon the lives of others,
These warriors play a part of the piece too,
Walking the reddened fields,
I am struck by the sight,
Each marred face and blood soaked body,
As I continue walking on,
Their eyes still intense with their efforts & passion,
To protect their homeland but not in vain,
My searching eyes wonder at how they accomplish such a task,
Of violent brutality and heart shattering pain,
Yet they still manage to have some strength,
Down to even the very last second,
As I walk these hallowed grounds once again,
I am reminded of their selfless act,
That allows me to be standing now,
Where I am.

11/11/09

Reward

Subliminal, Passionate,
Your love is true,
Such unselfish kindness,
I find in you.

Such joy and wonder,
Flowing through my veins,
My heart is racing and,
Cannot contain this blissful feeling,
Whimsical- I fall for you,
Uniquely fashioned,
Is what I love about you.

You never take,
Nor ask,
Nor use or abuse,
You just love me recklessly- endlessly,
I muse.

What did I do,
To deserve a love so pure,
Is this a reward for waiting,
Until I met you?

11/4/09

The Fallen

So I had to write a poem for my AP Language & Compostion class & this is what I came up with. Hope you like it :)


The wounded are down
The sick, the bleeding,
None to pick them up,
Another man of "righteousness",
Passes them by for they are,
Filthy,
Dirty,
Worthless.

Blemished on the outside,
Just as we are within,
The colorless clouds close in and around,
Disgrace,
Disgust,
Disapproval,
A frown.

The wind sighs at the thought,
Of our careless pretenses,
Our clouded objectives,
Our morals given little thought,
Wrapped up in ourselves, we are selfish,
Engorged in ourselves,
Our desires,
Passions.

We leave them lying,
On the stone-paved, cold, gray pavement,
Of cobblestone and rough cement,
Between the boulevard of the broken,
The avenue of the reckless,
The December night starts start to dim out,
The black midnight moon darkens,
As another one falls,
With no one to help him,
Up,
On,
His,
Feet.

This bleak town looks down on them,
Ashamed of their presence,
The dead winter leaves mourn the proud one's haughty glances,
Who will pick these beloved up?
Save them?
Defend them?

Or will they be left to suffer in silence,
Unable to save themselves,
As we all once were,
Are,
Will always be.

10/23/09

Clay

I am vulnerable,
I am weak,
I have scars that run deep.

I wish to fill,
Each empty crack,
With love like glue,
Keep me intact.

I am a broken,
Pot of clay,
To be remolded,
After each decay.

10/22/09

A Cycle- Hopeless Rut

Vicious cycle,
Heartbreak of another,
Countless tears,
Just surrender.

Left to rot here,
I'll die alone,
You proved me right,
Love is long gone.

It is just a myth,
A fable, a tale,
Too good to be true,
It is an epic fail.

It has failed me once,
And countless times too,
How is love real,
When it only hurts you.

My Kiss

My kiss has been traded,
Back and forth, passed around,
Given to him on the street,
Him by the car, by that pole,
On my step or driveway,
Near the woods, By a lake,
In your house, it has been used,
Wasted over again on another,
It has been poisoned and smothered,
By countless lovers,
Its purity stripped down,
The bliss has faded in each embrace,
The specialness has been removed,
Not only by enthusiastic lovers,
But also fools- wasted upon such souls,
The excitement still lingers,
But the importance is gone,
No longer genuine,special or unique,
My kiss is merely a kiss,
For it has been used by far too few lovers,
And far too many fools,
Which only to kiss, is what they seek.

10/16/09

H.D.B

A broken heart,
Is not easily mended,
You need some glue,
Like me.

I am your anchor,
I'll support you,
Rest your weary bones,
You'll make it through,
You're not alone.

God's providence,
Is here to guide you,
His arms of live you can run into,
And you always have me too.

Stupid Boy

I'm stronger than,
You'll ever be,
At least I stand for,
What I believe.

You don't love,
Or hope or dream,
All you want,
Is to use me.

Stupid boy,
I'm not naive,
You can't manipulate,
And control me.

So go ahead,
Do as you wish,
Your efforts are wasted,
When you were cherished.

10/15/09

Please

My heart is not enough,
My love inadequate,
Can't please you with just myself,
You want more.

My love is insufficient,
I am not loved for me,
I could make you so happy,
If you set me free.

To force one against their beliefs,
Their religion, their desires,
Constricting me- for it is not love,
It walks on the border of hate.

I love you,
Do not let that pass by,
If you want me,
Don't cause me to cry.

Please dear darling,
If you truly love me,
Stop this insensitivity,
And accept me for who I choose to be.

10/13/09

Despair

The last leaf falls,
The petal droops,
Upon the most unlucky ones,
And it is such despair.

My Tea

This warm cup of tea,
Mesmerizing me,
Flows in its essence.
Through my senses,
Engaging my mind,
Body and soul, draws
Me brilliant pictures,
Recollection of,
Fondest memories.

I sip- I feel,
A rush of the changing leaves,
An autumn's breeze,
Shivers dance upon my spine,
In such a familiar way,
Flowing through each,
Delicate hair on my head.

I sip- I taste,
The sweet honey reminding me,
Of your lips along with,
The warmth of your hands,
Finding the perfect fir in mine,
The cool air on my breath,
The comfort of fall's finest treats,
Delicate pies,
Many memories,
Flood into my thoughts.

I sip- I dream,
Of unwritten poetry,
Of never ending love,
Real happiness that you,
Would see in God's arms,
Or in that old couple,
Interlacing bodies upon,
Our favorite bench,
Under two familiar oak trees,
With gnarled roots and branches,
Similar to the life we lead.

I sip- I wish,
For perfection in,
Important interests,
Strength in unnecessary,
And unusually or usually,
Difficult situations,
For love, joy,
Happiness, passion like,
We used to share.

I sip- I be,
The girl I am,
The writer in me,
The unspoken artist in,
Words and paintings,
The girl you loved,
A girl with dreams who,
Aspires to be successful,
While being free.

Flowers In This World

A flower in bloom,
With promising hope,
Pollution seeps in,
Strangles like rope.

It wants to reach the heavens,
Wants to breathe,
Wants love and admiration,
It wants to be free.

Its leaves are fading,
And petals fall,
It withers away,
Like us all.

Undone

Toxic poison,
In my lungs,
Seeping to my heart,
I come undone.

Your love was brutal,
I was used,
Your careless pretenses,
In which I muse.

This pain scrapes through me,
Gnawing my bones,
Poisoning my veins,
Killing as it flows.

Suffocating my heart,
Sucks life out of me,
It's job almost finished,
Leaves me suffering.

One final stage,
The pain leaves me numb,
One last blow,
I am undone.

Raw & Bleeding

My heart is an open wound,
A deep, raw sore,
You wear me thin,
A bleeding core.

Your dirty lies,
Sugar coated,
I drown in this pain,
You are my motive.

Brutal

This destruction,
Painful stake,
Carved away at my heart.

Broken memories,
You took and consumed my heart.

You gave it back,
All tattered and torn,
I am brutally dying,
Because I am broken and worn.

Illusion

My withered bones,
Can't take no more,
You tore my heart in two.

This suffocation,
I can't breathe,
It's slowly killing me.

Your venomous lies,
My growing hate,
I fall apart at the seams.

Your love was an illusion,
It got the best of me.

10/12/09

Undefeated But Dragging On

A blooming flower,
It's beauty untold,
A priceless treasure,
For me to hold.

A gift of blessing,
In times of need,
In times of sorrow,
You take heed.

You love me graciously,
Patch up my heart,
Give me perspective,
Help me restart.

Friends like you,
Keep my heart to beat,
Keep me pressing on,
So I don't die in defeat.

*I love you Becca Wilson. You are my friendship anchor.

10/11/09

Hali :)

You are a treasure,
A prize to hold,
A beacon of light,
Pure, sparkling gold.

A true friend,
Dear as can be,
My best friend,
Means the world to me.

10/10/09

Dead

My heart is torn in two,
I have nothing left,
Every wound re-opened,
You stole my hope- committed theft.

I am an unwanted rag,
Tattered and torn,
Left to die here,
To lay and mourn.

I am empty,
Broken apart,
My soul is dead,
You killed my heart.

10/9/09

Fever

Hold it all in,
Sew it together,
Ripping apart at the seams.

Empty and wounded,
Feverish nightmare,
Darling, you're haunting my dreams.

10/5/09

What If...

What if I can't get over you,
What if I still want you back,
What if you move on and I can't replace you,
What if every new guy hurts me or disappoints me,
What if none of them can replace you,
What if I find a new one who reminds me of you,
What if it turns out to good to be true.

Something New, Something True..

Why do I fall so fast,
For yet another,
Don't let me drown love,
I'll go under.

What is it about you,
That makes me feel this way,
That makes my heart race,
That makes me stay.

Something new,
Maybe too good to be true,
Prove me wrong sweetie,
Don't tear me in two.

Wanting

Dreadfully nervous,
Your hands are warm,
Your touch- refreshing,
I am torn.

Don't want the pain,
The loss of another,
Exhausted from trying,
Wanna be loved forever.

Are you gonna let me down,
Love me so sweetly,
Or watch me drown.

9/27/09

Untitled

Climb the wall,
Conquer the fear,
Relinquish the tears,
Kiss passionately the rest of your years.

Unsettling

These are the nights I ponder,
I'm missing being held,
I miss your loving arms,
Things started so well.

Wordless looks- an anchor,
It weighs down my heart down,
In the sea of tears,
Those who look on frown.

It is such a sad sight to see,
A love that's been relinquished,
Should the flame spark again,
Or remain diminished?

Or should the heart love another,
Would it be a treason.
These I ponder daily,
No answer I receive to with it reason..

9/26/09

Hallelujah

Hallelujah,
Another night fills the sky,
Hallelujah,
For every effort and every try,
Hallelujah,
For the one above,
He governs out hearts with love,
Hallelujah,
He calls another home,
Hallelujah,
He does not leave us alone.

I Want To Be Pursued...

I love your smile,
The way you laugh,
You've got me going,
Going fast.

You're so shy darling,
It's plain to see,
I'm captivated,
So pursue me.

Difficulty

Being told to follow my heart,
Is what I do,
But why is it so hard,
When it breaks you.

I hate to cause the pain,
I hate to cause the tears,
But I've learned it's better to trust your heart,
To conquer and face your fears.

*I'm sorry for everything, but I had to follow my heart and listen to my gut feelings.

9/22/09

Georgia Flood

Crashing down
A long spiral
I am a lost cause
Hope forgotten
The rain continues on...

9/21/09

Wedding Tears

Tears fall from Heaven,
We mourn together,
A friendship broken,
This heart is weathered.

One last blow,
Searing pain,
All wounds re-opened,
I am slain.

9/20/09

Loneliness

Rain on my
Window pane
The gateway
To my tortured
Soul,do you not
See the disguise
The pitter-patter
Of each new
Drop fills me up and
Over flows out through
My eyes, and like the
Clouds, I cry.

Treasured Gold

When I look in the mirror,
I see a dirty rag,
When I look at myself,
I see something bad.

But when you look at me,
I am the mirror,
You see a pile of gold,
What you see is,
Your perfect son,
To treasure and to hold.

Storm

The heavy rain
On the well-built roof
That has sheltered a
Young soul for years
In each drop lies
A memory
Reminded of all the years
Held by a soothing voice
When fury comes out in tears
The rain falls on
My heavy heart
Like the weathered stones in
The worn-down pavement
Built up long ago
As if it was yesterday
A small, blue cup of tea
Ignites my long- lost
Senses
Try to push back the pain
Bottled up
Inside
But it won't go until
Until the last water droplet
Turns cold.

Surrender

Used again,
You're my demise,
I am hidden,
In my disguise.

Eyes red and swollen,
Unfallen tears,
Wear me out,
Year to year.

My downfall is my latest pleasure,
Hide my torture,
Behind each scar,
Why do I surrender?

9/19/09

Sensibility and Uncertainty

Back and forth,
So many times,
Has got me down and blue.

I want to give up on happiness,
I want to give up on you.

Yet I am scared and all alone,
Don't wanna be torn in two.

Beautiful

You're beautiful,
And you don't see,
The beauty within and out,
You don't believe me.

You glass-like smile,
Its perfection unmatched,
You're so appealing,
Easily attached.

A free bird,
Your beauty to spread its wings,
Take on the world,
Live out your dreams.

Smothered

Overwhelming,
Can hardly breathe,
Back up darling, please,
You're smothering me.

Treachery

You disgust me,
With your proper poise,
Your self-righteousness,
And how you're coy.

You sneak around,
Seeking each victim after another,
Your poison consumes,
The victim is smothered.

You wear a fake mask,
You think I can't see,
The treachery hidden,
The man you'll always be.

9/15/09

Healing

Stop my breathing,
The pain is seething,
Bring the healing,
Your looks are deceiving.

Stop the crying,
Start the dying,
Your treacherous lying,
Has got me writhing.

You stupid boy- you're conniving,
Your haughty looks- I'm not buying,
Your smooth talk is so defiling,
You plan against me- you're conspiring.

But you won't be my downfall,
I see your fear,
You insecure boy,
Just disappear.

Withered Rose

I'm not your toy,
For you to use,
Whenever you feel the need.

You can't just go back and forth,
My heart,
Never fallen so low.

Your lies are poison,
They consume my thoughts,
The venom overflows,
Through my veins,
I am a withered rose.

9/14/09

Poem For Art :)

You and me- simplicity,
Joy in purest form,
Love that ran so deeply,
Made to be broke and torn.

Giving all I ever had,
Was never even enough,
You left me cold and bare,
You gave up on us.

We had such perfect harmony,
Something to hold on to,
Until you broke the perfection,
And told me that we're through.

9/13/09

Too Much

Intoxicating,
Sickening sweet,
Stomach turning,
Got in too deep.

What to do now,
You're so sweet,
Drowning me,
I am weak.

A Hole

Consume the desire,
Fill my belly,
Need to be satisfied,
Inhale daily.

Poor hands dig,
At the last crumb,
A hole in the pit of my stomach,
Leaves me numb.

9/12/09

Nothing Special

So delicious,
I thirst for more,
Feed my hunger,
Fill my core.

Darling, love,
You're too good to be,
What makes you fall for me?

Sweetie, I'm not so special,
Why do you love me,
You make my heart flutter,
What brought you to me?

Bare

I love how you stop and stare,
You break down all walls,
You leave me bare.

Just Because

Your touch consumes me,
Feed the fire,
Fuel the flames,
The passion grows higher,
You knew how to ignite the spark,
In all the right places,
The heat burns around me,
The desire grows intense,
I can't stop this sensation,
I want more and more,
You've undressed me,
And fired up my core,
The tangled up sheets,
Leave a business to be finished,
A passion to carry out,
The fire to be diminished.

**BTW_ This is in NO way, shape or form about me. Just a random poem that came to my mind and I put on paper.

My Sister <3

Perfect, simplistic,
My other half,
Finer than the purest gold,
A friendship & sisterhood,
Meant to always last.

Two years and the best ones of my life,
Helped me through the pain, sorrow and strife,
Not complete without her,
My constant cure.

Like a drug,
You're too good to be,
A friendship so important,
My sister means the world to me.

Pennsylvania Boy

You used me,
Your pleasure,
Was only for you.

My heart,
Not a concern,
You tore me in two.

A one week fling,
Got too deep for you,
So you packed your heart up,
And left my heart blue.

You stopped communication,
For such a long time,
Well guess what darling,
I was doing fine.

What made you come back,
Who the hell do you think you are,
Do you not see all these scars?

I'm not your toy,
You can't seek and destroy.

Who are you to just expect,
Anything from me,
Can't you see sweetie,
I'm out of your league.

Hmmm

Your eyes- they captivated,
The moment I saw you,
I savor the memory
It's too good to spare.

Your taste- so appealing,
But my heart said beware.

Been broke before,
And torn to the core,
You're not like the others,
You won't leave me sore.

9/8/09

A Part..

A part of me wants the first one,
A part of me wants the next,
A part of me wants the ones in between,
A part of me wants the last.

A part of me wants a reason,
A part of me hides the truth,
A part of me is dying,
A part of me is missing you.

A part of me is filled with self-doubt,
A part of me wants to scream out,
A part of me is holding back,
A part of me wants to get out.

A part of me is uncertain,
A part of me is unclear,
A part of me wants to push you away,
A part of me is fear.

A part of me is loving,
A part of me is needing you near,
A part of me desires,
A part of me is tears.

A part of me is secrets,
A part of me is past,
A part of me is renewal,
A part of me is steadfast.

A part of me is victory,
A part of me is defeat,
A part of me is sometimes strong,
While the other part is weak.

9/7/09

Life

Life is full of heartache,
It's full of joy too,
It's full of big decisions,
And full of missing you.

Life is full of trouble,
Disappointment and despair,
Full of feeling empty,
Full of needing repair.

Life is also full of joy,
Excitement and confusion,
Full of craziness,
Sometimes can be an illusion.

Make life the fullest,
Whatever life gives you,
Inhale every opportunity,
Learn from every thing you do.

9/2/09

Decision

Dance for joy,
Leap in faith,
I know I've finally,
Found the right place.

Lord I asked,
And you renewed,
Thank you for drawing me back,
Pulling me close to you.

8/31/09

Unpredictable

How can you listen to your heart,
When it's being pulled in different directions,
How can you listen to your soul,
When you're in a state of perplexion.

Is your mind correct,
If it's telling you yes and no,
Is your feeling to be followed,
When you don't know which way to go.

If you feel your head spinning,
Does it mean you will fall,
Will you crash and burn,
Or not even at all.

Is each line leaving you more and more confused,
Each word contradicting,
Are you unsure of your end,
If it's so unpredictable.

8/26/09

Endless Wounds

Another tear-filled night,
Another broken heart,
How long will it even be,
Until I completely fall apart?

No time to heal,
While I take another blow,
A hammer to my chest,
Then the tears overflow.

Destination Point

Don't love,
Don't dream,
Don't hope,
It's all a scheme.

They build you up,
Just to watch you break,
They fill you with lies,
Stab your heart with a stake.

Tears are frequent,
And pain is too,
If I had known this destination point,
I wouldn't have met you.

8/25/09

Freeze Frame

Heart beating,
Time stops,
Kiss me more,
My heart pops.

So unreal,
Perfectly true,
To good to be,
How did I find you?

Float

Arms around me,
Full of grace,
Heart of gold,
And a smiling face.

Captivate me,
Stay a while,
Kiss me longer,
Make me smile.

Hold my heart,
Protect me,
Hand in hand,
Meant to be.

8/24/09

The Moment You Saw Me Cry

Didn't deserve your kindness,
Thankful for the generosity,
You wiped my tears,
And made me feel,
More special than I'll ever be.

A hopeful start,
Still an open wound,
A kiss for me to hold,
To precious to be told.

Guilt

Gnawing at your very core,
Spread the hole,
A deep, raw sore.

An open wound,
You drown in salt,
A passion only to be doomed.

And aching thought,
Buried deep in your heart,
That burns until you're finally caught.

Haunted

Screamed your name,
Begged for more,
Push you away,
Bring you back for more.

Haunting me,
That lust-filled sight,
Wanting you,
You stole my light.

I wanted you bad,
But not like this,
The poison already seething,
Beneath each sip.

How can I stop you?
You've got me hooked,
Trapped in a deadly vice,
I turned and took another look.

How?

Cannot live,
Cannot breathe,
Guilt and worry,
Consume me.

How could I do that,
Yet I wanted you so bad,
But it leaves me dazed,
And worried and sad.

My Own Grave

Falling apart,
Dug into a hole,

Starting to suffocate,
Save my wretched soul.

Wanting you,
But trust not yet gained,
Don't wanna screw things up,
My expression is pained.

I can't feel my lungs,
My body I collapse,
I've dug my own grave,
Never to get out- Perhaps.

8/22/09

Passion

You kissed me hard,
I kissed you back,
I don't regret a thing.

I want you bad,
Can't leave me now,
You've ignited a fire in me.

Connected

You give me butterflies,
You make me weak,
I let my guard down,
Be with me.

I cannot take,
Us being apart,
Cant you see how perfect we've been,
From the very start?

Scared of being hurt,
But willing to open up one more time,
I know it may be risky,
But I want you to be mine.

I Burn For You

Torn between,
Two desires,
Right or wrong,
Fuel the fire.

Burning passion,
Dowse the flame,
Hold it in,
Always the same.

Wanting something,
You can't have or obtain,
It's killing me,
Hide the pain.

Fly Away

Sincere simplicity,
Is never an option,
For a girl all alone,
A girl with a passion.

A passion to love,
To hope and to dream,
To be captivated,
With desires unseen.

But pay no heed,
Her wings never spread,
Her heart tied down,
Her hunger unfed.

8/16/09

Inside Out

Life is twisted,
It plays a game,
It bends and breaks you,
It slowly brings pain.

Love taunts your aching soul,
As you watch another lover,
Make you have this crave,
When you only go under.

It's unfair at worst,
And miserable at best,
Someone save me,
Put my soul to rest.

8/13/09

Words

So tangible, delicious,
So smooth in my mouth,
I savor each syllable,
Every one that comes out.

A delight and so wonderful,
Such flavor in each sound,
An endless supply,
With so many to be found.

Each one so unique,
Such beauty to use,
A prize so precious and meek,
Its value to uphold.

8/12/09

Bubble

Transparent and crystal clear,

No worry or care or fear,

Other than the vague possibility,

Of a familiar finger,

Or some other thin point,

To take its journey to an end,

And shatter it's dreams,

Or possibility to hope,

Without being destroyed.

8/8/09

Your Construed Words

Empty desire,
Foolish hope,
Maybe not,
But I learn to cope.

Hidden answers,
Words unclear,
Give me knowledge,
Vanquish this fear.

8/6/09

Familiar

Don't you just love,
To watch my soul,
Slowly writhe in pain.

A tortured heart,
A broken bone,
To you it's all the same.

8/5/09

Save My Soul

Sorrow flows freely,
Can't contain it any longer,
It hurts too deeply,
As tears line my face now.

A heart to be broken,
Black runs down my face,
An ache in my burdened soul,
Of despise and disgrace.

8/4/09

Escape

Actions are louder than words,
But her words leave distaste in my mouth,
I want to breathe again- I need to get out.

8/3/09

Fill My Lungs

Days are long,
Nights are hell,
I ache for only you,
Can you tell?

Deprivation consumes me,
I miss you love,
I can't breathe.

8/1/09

Forbidden

Forbidden to love,
Forbidden to breathe,
Why don't you just suffocate me?

Forbidden to hope,
Forbidden to dream,
You might as well just finish me.

Forbidden to care,
I need to scream,
Can't you see how you've killed me?

Withered Bones

Fuck my life,
My withered bones,
My beating heart,
Turns to stone.

I'm cold and dead,
You've dug my grave,
You chose to kill me,
Instead of save.

On The Verge Of Losing It

I'm aching to live,
Aching to breathe,
I can't take this poison,
It's killing me.

You leave me with nothing,
But a wish to die,
I wish you could save me,
You could've but didn't try.

So all that's left now,
Is to take the plunge,
And maybe you'll miss me,
Once I'm gone.

Desperation

Nothing left inside of me,
Kill me now, cause I can't breathe,
I'm ready to die, you've ripped open my heart,
You've left me with nothing but to fall apart,
This pain is poison, it's killing my soul,
If nothing's left, death will surely take its toll,
I'm already dying each day, you can't save me now,
I can't sustain any longer, end this somehow.

Shrinking Away

Rip apart my soul,
Tear open my heart,
Gnawing a large hole,
As I slowly fall apart.

Give me a knife,
A hatchet, a gun,
Just end my life,
Cause death's already begun.

All I Am Is Scattered Ashes

Slowly dying,
Kill me now,
Pain is seething,
Die somehow.

Bury my heart,
Chain down my soul,
Ripped apart,
Death takes its toll.

Nothing left here,
Scatter my ashes,
Guilt in each tear,
As my life passes.

7/26/09

Building Desire

Hold my breath,
Count to ten,
Hope to God,
You'll come back again.

Need you here,
Breathe life in me,
I want your love,
Don't go, don't leave.

Ache in my bones,
And dry in my heart,
Give one more chance,
A fresh start.

Internal Crave

I still want you,
I want you bad,
Don't know how to explain it,
I can't contain it.

My head is spinning,
I want you here,
I've been waiting now,
For over a year.

I know things were bad,
But it's in the past,
And I'd give everything,
Just to have you back.

This internal crave,
Is stirring in the depths of me,
Come back to me love,
You know we were always meant to be.

7/25/09

Fake Lies

Fuck you for your lies,
Fuck me for believing them,
Fuck the things you said,
And how I fell for them.

You were just like every other,
I was stupid to fall,
I was stupid to hope,
That we'd ever be together at all.

I'm done with guys like you,
You were a liar and a fake,
I was open to try someone new,
But forget that, screw you.

**P.S. If you read this dad, sorry for all the f-bombs I dropped. It's just how I was feeling and I needed to let it out. Please don't be mad!

7/23/09

Poison

You tell me you like me,
You plant all your lies,
You water the deceit,
Cloaked in your disguise.

You ensnare your next victim,
Unaware of the danger,
You slowly draw poison,
Dead asleep not to stir her.

Slowly dying intoxication,
It's slowly killing me,
Your appeal was amazing,
Now death encompasses me.

7/22/09

Fallen

You've swept me off my feet,
Got me dying to see you soon,
Your kiss- it was so sweet,
Under a summer moon.

I felt my heart beat,
As soon as I laid eyes on you,
Something I'd like to keep,
Something that could be true.

So sweep me away,
I'll follow you,
You've got me captivated,
And I've fallen hard for you.

7/21/09

Catch Me As I Fall.. <3

Starry Night,
Summer Sky,
See I've found,
A sweet surprise.

Instantly falling,
So fast and clear,
With just one look,
To hold you here.

Something in those,
Sparkling eyes,
Caught me off guard,
A good surprise.

So unexpected,
And so brand new,
What would you do,
If I fell for you?

New Sketches <3







Some stuff I've done over the summer. (Put this up for Becca! love you darling)
Anyways, hope you like it :)

7/19/09

The Problem

Rip my heart out,
As I sit and take it,
Tell me broken lies,
To cover and fake it.

Hide the guilt and shame,
Break my heart,
I wasn't ever good enough,
From the very start.

I'm sick of trying to please you,
When nothing I do is right,
I'm tired of being the reason,
For every stupid fight.

So put all the blame upon my shoulders,
I'm obviously the real problem,
Cause what do I matter,
When nothing can solve them.

Torn.

I hate all your words,
And I hate all your lies,
I hate being here,
With your fake disguise.

I know you hate me,
I can see it your eyes,
Don't pretend to love me,
It's me you despise.

I know I'm not good enough,
And I'm so sick of trying,
I'm so done with tears,
And I'm so sick of crying.

Two more years,
And you'll have your wish,
I'll be gone from you,
I know I won't be missed.

So save all the pretending,
It's no use anymore,
Not when I can see right through you,
And it leaves me torn.

7/10/09

Vulnerable

So what if I feel vulnerable,
So what if I'm weak,
What would you do,
If you had scars that ran deep.

What if I'm empty,
Misused in despair,
Left to be broken,
Without repair.

What would you do,
With a heart that can't be mended,
Would you cherish and love it,
Or abandon and bend it?

6/28/09

Still Broken...

Don't give them your heart,
They bend and break it,
Don't give them your mind,
They'll abuse and take it.

Don't give them your love,
They won't show you any back,
Don't give them your hope,
They'll shatter it fast.

Don't give them your time,
Because they won't spend any on you,
Don't let them break you,
Because to be broken is easy.

**I hate guys. Like really really hate guys. So much. :'(

6/23/09

Disappear

A new poem I wrote yesterday :)

Falling forward,
Catch my breath,
Going nowhere,
Falling fast.

Lost direction,
So unclear,
Subtle perplexion,
Disappear.

6/21/09

Happy Father's Day Dad <3

I know you think that I don't care,
I know I treat you bad,

I know I upset you endlessly,

But you still are my dad.


You make me laugh,

And comfort me,

You wipe away all my tears,

You've been here and there and everywhere,

These past sixteen whole years.


You treat me better than I deserve,

Every single day,
You uplift me and mold me,

I am a child of clay.

You instruct me and guide me,

You help me to do what's right,
You care about and protect me,

So harm is out of sight.


I'm glad to have you as my dad,

What more else can I say,

There's not another just like you,

And I love you; You make my day.


*Happy Father's Day Dad, I love you very much. <3

6/14/09

One Wish- To Be Loved...

So I guess I've been kinda down lately. I mean I just feel like no matter how many guys think I am attractive or want to be with me, it doesn't seem enough to heal the pain. So what if it temporarily makes me feel good that I'm wanted and not worthless to at least some people. It's a feeling that only lasts but a short while though. Even with all the compliments and sweet words that boost my self esteem, which you would never know it- but I have incredibly the lowest self esteem of myself and I find myself thinking I'm worthless or not good enough for anyone because it seems like every time I find someone who I believe truly cares about me, it end up being not enough or that I'm just not good enough for them or "not what they're looking for or want" or "it could never work".

All I want is... to be loved... to be cherished... to be adored... to be cared about... to be important to someone... to not be used and thrown away... to not be left in the midst of hard times... to be pursued honestly without thoughts of abandonment... to be wanted for me and who I am... to feel like I mean something to someone... to feel like I'm special... to feel like I have worth in someone's eyes... to be loved...

Is that really too much to ask? Love- It shouldn't be that hard. Why do people have to take such a beautiful and incredible thing and use it to do damage.

Why can't I be loved the way love should be? Why is it that every time I truly pour my heart out into someone and fully love them and give them my love and trust, that they break it or give it back because they don't want it anymore, don't want me anymore?

Honestly, It shouldn't be too much to ask. To be loved and treated right for once. Why is that so hard? I guess I'm just tired of feeling the way I do all the time, just waiting for someone to truly love me and mean it.

6/13/09

A Broken Mess Is Never Fixed

Build up a wall,
Don't shatter to pieces,
Don't let him in,
He'll just see your weakness.

He'll leave you alone,
He'll trick your heart,
Just to watch you,
Break and fall apart.

Single is the only familiar word,
Love is long gone and unheard,
Don't worry yourself though,
He was only another.

So stop playing games,
Because who are you fooling,
No one ever wants you,
Because you're bruised and broken.

Can you see that I can't breathe?

Look at what you've done,
The mess you've made of me,
I can't even function,
I can't even breathe.

I turn to so many,
Other things to fill me,
Only to leave me unsatisfied,
Empty and worthless.

Why did you leave me,
Left here to rot and die,
Bonded in my emptiness,
With a smile to disguise.

6/12/09

Just Another Poem :)

You pull me in closer,
I catch my breath,
My heart beats faster,
With just one glance.

Your eyes intoxicate me,
With just one look,
Can't get enough,
I guess I'm hooked.

You know how to make me laugh,
And even smile too,
Incredible and surprising to me,
That I got to meet you.

6/11/09

You :)

Brown hair,
Gorgeous eyes,
Captivates me by surprise.

Warm smile,
So sincere,
Stay a while,
Right now and here.

Amazing laugh,
So genuine and true,
I think I like that about you.

Glad I've met you,
What can I say?
You know how,
To make my day.

6/10/09

Satisfy

My heart is dry,
My face is numb,
My hands are cold,
I've come undone.

My hair- a mess,
Disheveled through,
Hours thinking,
Of me and you.

My hands reach for water,
My lungs beg to breathe,
Will you stay,
To satisfy me?

I stretch my arms,
And grab for more,
My eyes- they plead,
Will you satisfy and rescue me.

6/8/09

Her All Was Not Enough

This girl right here is empty,
Can you see it in her eyes?
She's sick of being used,
Her smile- a disguise.

She's tired of being lonely,
Has given up on true love,
It's always the same old song,
Repeating to be left unsung.

Rainclouds storm in her wearied soul,
Raindrops awaiting to fall,
She's had enough, she's done with this,
Because she gave it her all.

*Wrote this on the way coming home from Florida.

So Where Do I Go From Here...

Right or left,
Here or there,
Upside down or anywhere,
Left without a care.

Loneliness is one’s company,
Walls fade to a shade of green,
From another fading day to an endless night,
The words you said remain with me.

Confusion strikes with the blow of a hammer,
One mistake led to another,
A lie became impossible to forget,
So how can you ever leave this behind?

Shades of summer bring about another year,
But where do you even go from here,
Chasing dreams led to nowhere,
Only to leave me cold and bare.

A blue mug of coffee,
An empty room,
A book to delve into,
To keep me from remembering you.

*Also wrote this on the way down to Florida.

Her Empty Smile

Can you see her spirit drop,
Can you see her head fall,
Can you feel her heart break,
As she holds it in with a half-hearted smile.

Can you read her every thought,
Can you know how hard she falls,
Every time she sees that face,
The scars re-open and the wounds grow deeper,
Do you see how hard she conceals all these?

Can you feel the sting behind her every tear,
Can you ache with the tiredness of every sleepless night,
Can you feel the wall she’s built around her,
Can you experience the fear inside her heart,
Do you know she’s afraid to be alone?

Are you aware of the memories she hides beneath that face,
Are you aware of the pain when she walks into the same room,
Are you aware of all the salt that is poured into her wounds,
Are you aware that no one knows,
Truth is, she probably covers it quite well,
Hidden beneath an empty smile.

*Wrote this on Wednesday on the drive down to Florida.

5/31/09

"You Dared.."

I wrote this song a couple weeks ago like around the middle of May. I was struggling after a breakup and wanted to write a poem to get my feelings out because that usually helps a lot. Anyways to make a short story even shorter it turned into a song rather than a poem. So here it is, and I hope you like it :)

Verse 1:
A beautiful symphony,
You and me- a distant memory,
Things flood in and out of my mind,
You could have just left me for dead,
And I wouldn't have cared,
What you did to me was far much worse, but you dared..

Chorus:
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
Yet just one look can break me down,
And I am shattered, Oh, I am shattered

Verse 2:
Moving on, it doesn't feel right,
But you were a lost cause,
Why even bother to fight,
You had your chance to win my heart,
To patch me up and to restart,
Maybe I wasn't worth it,
Yet you still had the nerve to,
Still felt the nerve..

Chorus:
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
Yet just one look can break me down,
And I am shattered, Oh, I am shattered

Bridge:
So throw away our love,
Like you know you want to,
I'll suffer in silence,
Just like I always do,
As you, decide to..

Chorus:
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
Yet just one look can break me down,
And I am shattered, Oh, I am shattered

Chorus:
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
To carve your name in the core of my heart,
Just to rip it out and tear it apart,
And it doesn't even affect you now,
Yet just one look can break me down,
And I am shattered, Oh, I am shattered