One Wish- To Be Loved...

So I guess I've been kinda down lately. I mean I just feel like no matter how many guys think I am attractive or want to be with me, it doesn't seem enough to heal the pain. So what if it temporarily makes me feel good that I'm wanted and not worthless to at least some people. It's a feeling that only lasts but a short while though. Even with all the compliments and sweet words that boost my self esteem, which you would never know it- but I have incredibly the lowest self esteem of myself and I find myself thinking I'm worthless or not good enough for anyone because it seems like every time I find someone who I believe truly cares about me, it end up being not enough or that I'm just not good enough for them or "not what they're looking for or want" or "it could never work".

All I want is... to be loved... to be cherished... to be adored... to be cared about... to be important to someone... to not be used and thrown away... to not be left in the midst of hard times... to be pursued honestly without thoughts of abandonment... to be wanted for me and who I am... to feel like I mean something to someone... to feel like I'm special... to feel like I have worth in someone's eyes... to be loved...

Is that really too much to ask? Love- It shouldn't be that hard. Why do people have to take such a beautiful and incredible thing and use it to do damage.

Why can't I be loved the way love should be? Why is it that every time I truly pour my heart out into someone and fully love them and give them my love and trust, that they break it or give it back because they don't want it anymore, don't want me anymore?

Honestly, It shouldn't be too much to ask. To be loved and treated right for once. Why is that so hard? I guess I'm just tired of feeling the way I do all the time, just waiting for someone to truly love me and mean it.