We Gather Jars

I have many nice jars,
All sparkling in a row on my shelf,
Lined up like the books above them,
Each kept safely out of harm’s way,
With no intentions on returning them,
These jars are not mine,
These jars have been stolen,
The culprit- none other than I,
Deviously I took one by one,
Thinking the glass would always sparkle and thrive,
My collection started scarce,
It then began to grow,
For my shelf would be quickly filled,
“This one looks good” I thought,
As I received my very first jar,
Until things went amiss,
I hurried to gather more,
Greedily I thought, “Maybe this one will do,
Ah, Indeed it looks better”,
However, this one was also askew,
My desire sought out another,
My shelf was slowly losing space,
I stepped back to take a look,
At all my pretty jars I’d obtained,
All neatly row by row,
I was terribly shocked,
When I realized what I’d done,
Each jar was filled with precious life,
Still pumping it’s fresh, red blood,
I had plundered so many,
Brought them destruction and strife,
I had bought out each one of their jars,
At any risky price,
I felt so sad for all those jars,
Wishing I could give them back,
And panic set in when I scanned the shelves,
And could not find my own,
The jar that had my name on it,
With a gold, glittery pen,
Was nowhere to be found,
And I ‘d give anything for my jar,
If it only could be done.


Make-over & A New Poem

So actually I didn't go and delete my other blog but I don't know how much I'll be posting on there anymore. Or if I change my mind and actually do delete it. Oh and I finally wrote a new poem. It was a good way to get out what I was feeling. I haven't been really able to understand God's hand in all of it. It still doesn't make sense to me and it's still really hard to deal with since the knowledge is so fresh in my mind. Anyways more later and here it is! (The poem that is)

I have some anger,
So much pain bottled up,
Should I release it?
Or save it for something else?

Why do we have to suffer?
Why is this world messed up?
Why am I the one to deal with this?
The one that wants to give up.

I want to punch a wall,
Or scream at the top of my lungs.
I want to let go of this hurt,
But it's my thriving drug.

Drug that numbs my bitterness,
Am I cynical?
Maybe I am,
I want to jump off the edge,
Just to feel alive again.

Thought my blog needed an long overdue makeover! :)
more to come latah gatah!

-Peace, Love & Baby Ducks :)



So I'm gonna close down my other blog I think and journal on here too as well as still posting poetry. But anyways here is what's new I guess. I love this website called Stumble Upon because it is great and I've found some neat stuff like:

Oh and I also love this website called TED! It's really neat so I think you should check it out. It's quite wonderful.

Anyways other than that, everything else has been basically the s
ame. Wake up, school, eat, more school, eat, homework, sleep (maybe). Repeat. Blah I'm so interesting. I haven't had much time for anything else lately which stinks because I miss my best friend. ARG! <-- hehe. I haven't hung out with Becca Wilson in forever. I miss her like crazy and this weekend is booked except for Sundays (which on Sunday she can't usually hang out = frowny face). So I'm hoping we can hang out soon. It's making me sad not being able to have time to hang out. I'm gonna call her tonight. I need that closeness back, that reconnection because it is really important to me. OH and... I finally made a decision! Not gonna cheer next year. Yep not gonna do it. It's not worth all the stress, bad grades, bad GPA, tiredness, crankiness and putting up with people that either offend me, are rude to me, or push the right buttons on me to where it takes away from me enjoying the game. And my coaches don't seem to like me. I also want to focus more on my schoolwork, art and literature. Yep. There's that.

Anyways a few pics of good memories of last time I hung out with Becca! She's so pretty. I love my best friend.

I'm So Very Sorry

To my dearest and loving dad,
An apology more than deserving,
To say how deeply sorry I am.
For the rebellion I have had,
For my anger and my bitterness,
For pushing you away,
For all the times I've hurt you,
Without understanding your pain,
We've both been hurting for a long time,
And you by far more than me,
I never have hated you,
It was just my cry of being lonely,
I'm sorry for my defensive side,
And always putting up a fight,
I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused,
I only want to now make things right,
I know sometimes you can't even look at me,
I can hardly blame you,
I hope you'll except my apology,
I mean it from the depths of my heart,
No matter what we've been through,
I admire you for your strength and heart,
And I deeply love you.


I Am An Island & She Is Only A Dolphin

She doesn't like to see a frown,
She only accepts a smile,
But I can't help it if I frown,
More than once in a while.

She doesn't like any bad words,
Not even ones like "crap",
But I can't help that we're not the same,
Maybe I should rap?

She doesn't understand me half the time,
She only knows herself,
But I can't help that I am different,
Because I am myself.